Eating Disorders: Brave Stories of Struggle and Recovery

Since beginning this series on eating disorders I have received an abundance of emails from readers, not only here in Norwood but from across the country. To say I am humbled would be an extraordinary understatement.

I have received messages from concerned parents asking for more information about the warnings signs and how to prevent their children from developing an eating disorder, while others shared deeply personal stories with me through email and in person.

There are so many topics about eating disorders I wanted to talk about today, and in truth I had three different columns in the works, but I feel the powerful words of these extremely brave women need to be heard. With permission I am sharing parts of the courageous and personal accounts of three women as their stories speak for thousands.

One of the first emails I received was from a 15-year-old woman talking about the agonizing decision to tell her parents she is secretly struggling with anorexia and bulimia. She talks about her fear of continuing to live with the disease and her fear of living without it:

I think I have anorexia and bulimia, well I know I do. My doctor suspected it a few months ago and I think my parents know but they don't say much. I’m terrified of gaining weight. I don’t eat and when I do eat I throw up. I want to tell my parents what I'm doing but I know if they find out they will make me get help and I’ll gain weight - and I won’t be able to purge, I can’t imagine not being able to purge. I’m doing awful things to hide this from my parents. I feel so guilty, I lie to them all the time about it. They would be so sad if I told them I go to bed every night scared I’m going to die. I don’t want to be one of the girls you wrote about, I want to see my college graduation and live a happy life without this eating disorder but I can't imagine living a life without it either.

It is not uncommon for people struggling with eating disorders to be torn between asking for help and living with the eating disorder, as this young girl describes. Eating disorders are sneaky; victims often describe the disease that is slowly killing them as a best friend. However, full recovery is possible. Research shows that with early intervention and treatment, and a supportive network of family and friends, increases the rate and success of recovery.

Another young woman shared her personal story of recovery and her decision to tell her friends about her own history in the hopes of saving their lives and removing the stigma of having an eating disorder:

My friends think it is a joke when they throw up or don’t eat, they have no idea how dangerous it is. I threw up my lunch for the first time in fifth grade; I was 11 years old. I hid it from my parents at first because I was always into sports and away from them for many hours a day, but after only about three months my body couldn’t handle what I was doing to it. I watched older girls in my school not eat and throw up and they were fine so I figured I was fine, but I wasn’t. When I was twelve I almost had a heart attack. I spent that summer in a hospital instead of playing with my friends, first on a cardiac unit then on an inpatient eating disorders unit. I was in five other eating disorder programs, hospitalized a total of nine times between the ages of twelve and sixteen. That’s no way to live. I am fully recovered now but I have never told anyone about my history because I didn’t want to be labeled “that girl,” but I’m going to tell my friends now because I don’t want to go to their funerals.

The National Eating Disorders Association cites the following information: In the United States, as many as 10 million females and 1 million males are fighting a life and death battle with an eating disorder such as anorexia or bulimia. Millions more are struggling with binge eating disorders. Because of the secretiveness and shame associated with eating disorders, many cases are probably not reported. In addition, many individuals struggle with body dissatisfaction and sub-clinical disordered eating attitudes and behaviors. For example, it has been shown that 80 percent of American women are dissatisfied with their appearance.

I also heard from men and women desperate for treatment, asking that I write a piece on the increasing need for insurance reform and the struggle thousands of people have receiving the necessary treatment.

One of the most emotional conversations I had this week was right here in town. A woman bravely told me about her own struggle with an eating disorder which she now feels is manifesting in her daughter. 

I was walking to my car when I was stopped by a tall, thin woman. The woman told me she read my column and with tears in her eyes said quietly, “I had an eating disorder, you may not have heard of it, it’s called orthorexia.”

I told this complete stranger, so bravely sharing her personal story with me right in the center of town, that I knew quite a bit about orthorexia, in fact I wrote a thirty-page paper on the relatively "new and unknown" eating disorder while in school.  

Orthorexia, a term developed by Steven Bratman, M.D., describes an eating disorder that begins in effort to eat “more healthily” and turns into a deadly fixation on eating only pure, unprocessed and often raw foods. Orthorexia is often misdiagnosed for anorexia because the person often eventually eliminates nearly all food from their diet. Where as anorexics struggle with distorted body image, Orthorexics strive to keep their body pure and will go to extreme lengths to avoid eating anything they consider “impure.” As with all eating disorders, Orthorexia is equally deadly and the physical and mental effects on the body are just as devastating.

This woman, whose name I still don’t know, told me her seven-year-old daughter was recently diagnosed with Orthorexia:

 After I had my daughter I decided to try and eat better and just be more healthy in general. I first eliminated foods that had additives and perservatives, then I started choosing organic foods and before long I was obsessed. I was spending hours every day thinking of about what I could and couldn’t put into my body. Before long I eliminated meat, dairy, cheese, fats of all kinds. Suddenly my effort to be healthy switched into a need to be “pure” and I didn’t realize the effect it was having on my daughter. It got to the point I wouldn’t even take her to Friendly’s for ice cream when she asked because I didn’t’ want to be inside the building, I was afraid just being near the ice cream would taint me. I didn’t know she heard my comments or that my issues with food might one day impact her, I figured she was only a baby. I was wrong. I am working at recovery now, I even had ice cream last week, but now my daughter won’t eat anything unless she knows it is “pure” - she actually used that word. I didn’t think it could start so soon. She is getting admitted to a program through Children’s Hospital next week because she has lost so much weight. I have to change her relationship with food.

I am humbled my words have reached so many and I am honored these brave women shared their stories with me, and in turn allowed me to share them with you. I urge to you please keep talking and continue reaching out for information and support. If the words in my little column can help get people talking, generating questions and inspiring people to come forward, then we just might be able to save lives.

For more information and support please visit:

The National Eating Disorders Association: Orthorexia 

The National Eating Disorders Association: Preventing Eating Disorders

Tips for talking to a family member or friend who may be struggling

National Eating Disorders Association

MEDA (Treatment referrals, information and support groups- located in Newton, MA)

Children's Hospital Boston, Eating Disorder Program