BLOG: Matty's Movies: 'Les Miserables'

Alright, alright! Who the hell told me to go see "Les Mis"? First off, from the previews, this was NOT a movie I was looking forward to seeing at all. Then I heard it was originally a book! (Never going to read that!) Then I heard I was turned into a Broadway play! (Never going to see that!) And to top it all off, it's a musical! (Why the HELL wasn't I notified that this was a musical?) Well, the sweet young lady who told me to have an open mind and just go see this film (or she'd kill me with her nunchucks) was a dynamic ninja turtle named Carol-Ann... and my God, I have to thank her.

I loved "Les Mis." Yeah, so what, I loved it. (Don't worry, I'm still Sci-Fi Guy.) I loved it because it is so different from the movies I am used to seeing. I mean, how often do I get to see a movie being sung instead of spoken? I've always loved music, (Guns 'N' Roses rules!) and my mother was always pushing me towards music. You know, glee club, madrigals, church chior. I guess I may have just lost my way from back when I was still a soprano. Well, I'm glad I was directed towards seeing this... I feel more cultured today.

"Les Miserables" (or "Les Mis" for short) is a story set in 1815 to 1832 France that follows the life of prisoner 24601. (Man, I just want to sing it! 2-4-6-0-1! La-la-la-la-la!) Anyways, 24601 has a name, and it's Jean Valjean (stupendously acted by "Wolverine" Hugh Jackman). Jean Valjean (not to be confused with Jean ValKilmer) is sentenced to be a slave for 19 years for stealing a loaf of bread for his starving nephew. Now that's rough! If I lived in those times, with the stuff I've done, I'd be in jail forever! Eventually 24601 is set free, but is on parole for the rest of his life. Yup, he breaks parole and his nemisis, Inspector Javert (Russell Crowe) is on his trail for the rest of life.

Jean Valjean in the meantime finds God. He betters his life and becomes a model citizen (all the while having to look over his shoulder for Javert). He ends up befriending a damsel in distress named Fantine. Fantine is magnificantly portrayed by Anne Hathaway. (Or as I like to call her now, Anne Hair-away.) Fantine dies and Jean Valjean brings up her orphaned daughter (named Cosette) as his own. Together, the two stay one step ahead of Javert. Eventually, Cosette grows up and turns into Amanda Seyfried. (Actually, Amanda Seyfried just plays her, she's an actress playing a role.)

Meanwhile, all around France, blood is boiling. The poor people are ready to revolt against the government. There's a lot of shenanigans going on in this film, but it's easy to follow. Cosette finds a young man and falls in love. His name is Marius (Eddie Redmayne). Some serious, deep stuff fills this film, and I feel I should stop telling you about it for fear of ruining the plot. (I do that a lot.)

Oh yeah, one more thing though, ALL THE WHILE, THIS WHOLE ENTIRE MOVIE IS BEING SUNG!

Time to "Matty Up" this review. Sure, I totally loved this movie, but it didn't come without its flaws. I'm a professional movie reviewer. First things first, I don't go to the movies to learn. I've told you before, learning is for nerds! But I ended up learning about the French Revolution. I learned that the war went on for ONE DAY! And that the French people were WEAK! Weak like Ukraine! I mean, I've been in fights that have lasted longer! I think the rumble in "The Outsiders" spanned a longer time frame than the French Revolution! (Ok now, I'm not sure how accurate I am about this, but that's how it was portrayed in the movie. You know what? I'm not even sure it was the French Revolution, but someone was revolting!)

Another problem with the film was that it was set entirely in France, yet everybody over there spoke perfect English... but when they read a letter, it was written in French! I mean, continuity people! Come on! I went to four years of Miss Splaine's French class in high school and I was ready for it to start paying off!

Cosette's love interest, Marius, was wonderfully played by Eddie Redmayne. He's a talented actor and a great singer, but when he hit those high notes, he sounded like Kermit the Frog. At points, I couldn't stop thinking he may throw his arms flailing into the air, and running around like Miss Piggy was chasing him. But honestly, I'm nitpicking here, these are just funny, little quips that only a man with a professionally trained eye would notice.

Know what I loved about this film? The acting... and the singing. The film was perfectly cast. They got talented actors who could really belt one out. Then again, I wasn't walking in thinking Jean Valjean would be portrayed by Bobcat Goldthwait and Roseanne would be Fantine. Anne Hathaway has an angelic voice, and I love her pixy-fairy haircut. (It's cute.) Hugh Jackman has been doing this type of acting for years. He seems to gravitate towards the stage. Now, he's put it on film. And Russell Crowe quietly, but splendidly carried his own weight in the singing department. He has some background in music. I know he has a band named "50 Odd Shades of Grunt" or something like that. All I know is he loves his music, and it shows in this film. (Ok, I just googled Crowe's band name. It's "30 Odd Foot of Grunts." Cute name buddy.)

Another standout in this film was the young boy named Gavroche. Daniel Huttlestone played him. This spunky little actor added some character to his alter-ego. And one more relative unknown I'd like to give props to is, Samantha Barks (Eponine). This gal has skills and a swagger to her that made me melt into my seat. She has a sweet, but sexy, exotic look, and her talents made her that much more attractive. 

And how about another known actor? Sasha Baron Cohen. That's right, the man who played Ali G, Borat, and Bruno is in this film too. He adds some humor to a serious story... I liked him a lot.

Let me tell you about the director, Tom Hooper. I don't know who he is, so I can't tell you too much. But he did great work with this film. The sets were grand, and his camerawork was well placed. I liked how many of his shots were deliberately off-center. It was different from many films, because it's an entirely different type of film, altogether.

One group of people I feel bad for? The orchestra. This movie is two hours and 37 minutes long. And the ENTIRE film is one LONG song. It never stops! (Some may say this movie is "Jean Val LONG!") I don't know how they do it night after night on Broadway, but kudos to the clarinetists, trumpeters, flutists, oboeists, harpists, french hornists, and all you other brass, woodwind, and percussionists. You have the toughest job of all. 

Ok, I'm tired now, it's time for me to wrap this song up. Can another film without spoken words win back-to-back Oscars? (Remember, "The Artist" won last year and there were NO words in that film.) Possibly. It's that moving of a film... but more importantly, will "Les Mis" win NORWOOD PATCH'S coveted "Matty" award for Best Picture? No... I'm sorry. I feel more cultured and more evolved for seeing this film, but COME ON! I'M MATTY! And as long as the Avengers, and Batman, and Django, and NOT John Carter are out there, then my heart lies with them. (Except John Carter.)

So be on the lookout at the Academy Awards for this movie, because all the hoity-toity, uppity critics will be pushing for this film... and deservedly so. It is a mighty powerful musical.

And now that I've done my job, it's my turn to tell Carol-Ann thank you for pushing me to see this film. I probably wouldn't have seen it otherwise. And I did love it... but now it's my turn to pick a movie to see. And I say we see... "Transformers 4"! (I CAN'T WAIT!) But since that movie isn't coming out for a couple of years, then it'll have to be "Gangster Squad"... or "Zero Dark Thirty"... or "Texas Chainsaw Massacre"... or the hilarious comedy "Movie 43." There's plenty to see, pick one.

Signing off and heading back to the clink.

Matty W. Kelley, Prisoner 90210, Norwood Patch, reporting.

Fun Fact: Being a professional movie reviewer, I went back and did my homework. It wasn't the French Revolution that was going on at the time. It was the JUNE REBELLION. But I don't like deleting anything I write in my reviews. I think it takes away from my spontaneity. SO WHATEVER I WROTE, STAYS!

Fun Matty Fact: Billy Daley, Paul Fortey, Colin "The X-Man" Kelley and myself review many of these films online by googling "A Seat Apart: REEL REVIEWS" or friending us on Facebook at the same name... We will be SINGING a review of this film in the coming week. I strongly suggest you take a look at it... We get pretty hilarious... and mental. (AND they're solid reviews too!)