Matty's Movie's: 'Cirque du Soleil: Worlds Away'

Who out there wants to drop some acid?

Have I got your attention? Alright then, let me re-phrase the question. Who out there wants to feel like they've dropped some acid BUT don't want to worry about the side effects that follow actually taking acid? Who doesn't want the hangover, the depression, the cottonball mouth, the possibility of waking up in jail, and the fact that it is illegal?

What would you say if I told you that I could take you to a place where you would feel like you were tripping on acid but you really weren't? Would you take that trip?

"Well folks, step right up! Step right up! Put on your 3D glasses and come with me on an amazing journey into the world of "Cirque du Soleil!" A world filled with mystery, with wonder, and with the feeling that you're on LSD but really aren't!"

Ok now, I'm going to say this right off the bat: I DO NOT CONDONE DRUG USE WHATSOEVER! But as I've said many times before in my reviews, I am not an angel. I have done things. Things I am not proud of. Illegal things. And this is where I draw inspiration for my articles from. From my experiences throughout my life. I'm not your average movie reviewer, I'm better than average, I'm awesome. I'm a man who happens to love movies and at the same time, happens to love talking about myself. My reviews may be unorthodox, but they're genuine, they're from the heart, and they're ALWAYS correct.

That being said, I am going to tell you about the film, "Cirque du Soleil: Worlds Away". And in the process, I'll probably tell you about my past drug use. And don't worry, I never really got deep into any drugs. I experimented, (like a scientist) but that's about it.

First off, I want to say that this is the second movie in a row that I've reviewed where there are NO spoken words. (I just reviewed "Les Mis", and that was ONE LONG SONG.)

The story goes like this, a young girl goes to the circus because, well, because it's the circus, and everybody loves the circus! She happens upon a young aerialist with whom she seems to be quite smitten with. She stalks him around the big top, but eventually loses him. She falls down a big sand-hole portal, into a wacky, deranged and crazy world filled with the most colorful hues, the most interesting characters and the most wild sets imaginable. Down in this world she hunts for her wannabee lover.

That's pretty much the story. And that's all you need, because this isn't really a movie, it's a show that just so happened to be turned into a movie.

Have any of you ever been to a "Cirque du Soleil" show before? I know they tour the country and they also have permanant homes too. I know there's one in Vegas called "Zumanity". I think it may be adult themed, you know, all sexual and stuff. All I know was that I was out there in April, looking for tickets to the show, and the next thing you know, its two days later, I've lost my phone and wallet, (found them at the Spearmint Rhino) and my swim trunks and flip-flops, and it's time to go home. (Where the hell did that weekend go?) I know that every once in a while they have shows in Boston's theatre district, but I've never been to one. I have been to a show though. It was at Sea-World, down in Florida. It was one of the coolest shows I had ever seen, and that's what made me want to see this film.

You see, "Cirque du Soleil" is a MAJOR performance art show. They've got acrobats, clowns, syncronized swimmers, pole swingers, contortionists, hula hoop girls, trampoline monkey-jumpers, and basically, anything you could imagine. And the outfits are spectacular. Some of the creatures in the show are jellyfish floating high above the the gigantic swimming pool below. Swimmers are dressed as fish, all splashing in perfect syncronicity. There are bad guys flying around on bungee cords shooting arrows. And then there are these Asian girls that come out and bend their bodies so awkwardly, that being run over by a truck looks more comfortable... And I should know, I've been run over by a truck... and didn't even know it! See, drugs are bad... To tell the truth on that one, that was actually a booze related incedent. (Still, it's a type of drug.)

And the outfits? They are amazing to look at. All the colors soaring about, blasting at your retinas could blind you. Tie-dye enthusiasts would love this show. Then there are costumes that the performers wear that look like dressed up slinkys. At first the slinkys are tiny, then two seconds later they're shooting all the way up to the ceiling! I'm telling you, it is crazy!

The whole show is one magnificant spectacle. While I was sitting there, mesmorized by all the action going on at once, I couldn't help but think about the time (or two) I did acid. I was watching the trapeze artists swinging around, flipping and catching other artists, while all the while, right down below them, a group of men dressed as zebras (in the tightest, 'leave nothing to the imagination' full body suits) go darting right by! I was like, "Where the hell did they come from?" Then, a bunch of guys start bolting up walls and falling down on to trampolines, then bolting back up the walls again! And they're jumping all over, under and thru each other! I'm telling you, this was sweet! Then, a guy comes out of the sky and starts spinning a giant metal box. This looked so cool. And then, a humongous metal ship with pirates on it comes floating through the air and stalls above the giant pool below. The pirates begin doing stunts, and it is wicked WICKED cool. To me, this is sort of what was going on in my deeply debilitated brain while I was on acid. This is also what I would call my "beaming" stage when on acid. This is when everthing is great. 

Then all of a sudden, things turn. Some of the performers turn evil and start chasing around the good guys. They're shooting arrows and dropping mini-bombs at them. Pirates are falling off the boat into the water down below. Walls are turning sideways and fat ladies are falling over the sides of the walls. And everyone has an angry clown face! Not one clown had a happy smile painted on! This was freaking me out man! Now this is what I would call my "bad trip" phase of the show. And boy, it brought back some BAD memories. Nobody ever likes to be freaked out... and when they're on acid? Whoa, that is bad news.

And the music of the film? Well, most of it I didn't know. It was basically, orchestra type, sappy, love music, or something to that nature. But for about ten minutes or so they played vintage BEATLES tunes, starting out with "Blackbird". This may be my favorite BEATLES song of all time. (Maybe not, I'm not sure, they had a LOT of songs.) Let me tell you, the last time I ever did acid, I was having a bad trip. The worst trip ever, actually. "Hey Jude" was playing on the radio in the background and I swear to God I thought my mother was singing it to me... And singing it to me sadly, as if she was disappointed. I was in a buddies living room, kneeling on the ground, and reaching for the sky. I felt like Sgt. Elias from "Platoon". I was totally freaking out man! And I totally hated it. Weird thing is, my middle name isn't Jude, that's my brother Andy's middle name. Needless to say, that pretty much ended my acid taking career. I had tried those little blotter slabs maybe a half a dozen times TOPS, so my LSD rides were over before they really even started. I was scared straight that night. (Side note: "Hey Jude" is not a song that they used in the film. My mind was drifting while watching the movie.)

Hey, I'm going to tell you how it ends. Sorry, but you've got to be an idiot to not know how it ends. The girl finds the guy and they sail up into the sky, living happily ever after.

I do want to say that the artists involved in this film must work excruciatingly hard. It is a demanding art form, and I appreciate all the hours of hard work that they put into it. It's a wonderful talent that they all possess and many, many hours, days, weeks, and months must go into making this show go off without a hitch. (the live show.) I'm telling you, one little mistake and someone could get seriously injured. It's much harder work than just 'straight up' acting. I truly admire these artists.

Would you like me to tell you some of these talented performers names? Well, I'm not going to. They do deserve to be recognized but, trust me, you wouldn't know any of them. Most of them have names I can't even pronounce.

The only name connected with this film that you would recognize is the executive producer, James Cameron... and maybe the sound mixing technician, Alexis Feodoroff. (Ok, I'm kidding on that one. I'm not even sure if that's a guy or a girl.)

I think you all know that I liked this film, but if you haven't figured that out yet, I'm telling you now, I did. (I just didn't like my acid trips.) So now, why don't we all just be adults and go see this show, acid free... I'm telling you, this is kind of like what goes on in your Kentucky-fried brain when you're on LSD. (LSD and acid are the same thing.) So let's be smart and take the smart and easy route to Brain Entertainment Blvd. Go see this movie and get your moneys worth WITHOUT all the heartache and headaches that would come with taking the drug.

So now you know a little bit more about me... And just think, we haven't even begun to crack this nut yet!

People love you... I love you... DON'T DO DRUGS!

Acid free since '93'! (or somewhere around then.)

Matty W. Kelley, Norwood Patch, reporting.

Fun Fact: Well, I just found this out. Each of the acts shot for this film were performed at one of the hotels out in Las Vegas. I guess they have many "Cirque du Soleil" shows out there, all over the place... Yet, I couldn't find one.

Fun Matty Fact: I've never confronted my brother Colin on this, but when we saw "Cirque du Soleil" down at Sea World, I looked over to him at the end of the show... and he was crying. (welling up.) Then again at the Shamu show too! I kind of welled up at the Shamu show also. It was somewhat moving, and the both of us were coming down from a solid week of boozing on a cruise to the Bahamas. So our brains were not in good shape... I'll give him a pass on that.