Matty's Movies: 'Dead Man Down'

The highly anticipated prequel to "The Wizard of Oz" finally hit theatres this weekend, so I rushed right out and saw "Dead Man Down". It's not that I didn't want to see "Oz, The Great and Powerful", it's just that the previews to this Colin Farrell vehicle looked quite entertaining to me.

And my fellow Irish Assassin did not disappoint. To me, Mr. Farrell does not get enough props in Hollywood for his acting. And it's not just his acting either. This man knows how to pick his scripts. Alright, he may have missed with "Miami Vice"... And "Daredevil" was weak, but at least he was a standout as the evil villian 'Bullseye' in that film. The rest of that movie reeked of foulness. (Sorry Benji Affleck and Jenny Garner, but honestly, it wasn't good.)

Let's talk about some of his great films. How about "Minority Report"? That was an under the radar sci-fi hit. And then you have S.W.A.T. That was a "mans movie", made by men, for men. That flick was so manly I walked out of that film needing a new roll of Speed Stick... by Mennen. Then there's "Horrible Bosses" (He was funny as hell), and who can forget the re-vamp of Ah-nold's "Total Recall" ("I'm not Quaid, I'm Houser!). Or "In Bruges". (Such a great film... from what my friends tell me, I never saw it.) Most recently he starred in the action/crime/drama/comedy, "Seven Psychopaths", in which he was both funny and serious. I loved that film. (I think it was snubbed at the Oscars for Best Screenplay.)

But enough about Colin Farrell, it sounds like I have a man crush on this guy. Let's talk about "Dead Man Down".

Farrell plays Victor, a man who has infiltrated a New York crime syndicate for the sheer fact of avenging the deaths of his wife and daughter two years earlier. The leader of the crime mob is Alphonse. (Terrence Howard) Now, what Alphonse doesn't know is that two years earlier, when he was putting "hits" out on people, he should have realized that when you put out a "hit", that usually means kill the person... until he is dead. Big mistake, now you got a rat in the crew.

There is a sub-story too. A love story of sorts. Victor sparks up a relationship with a neighbor of his. A gal by the name of Beatrice, (Noomi Rapace) a woman seeking revenge herself on a drunk driver who mangled up her face in a car wreck. These two have an interesting relationship filled with sexual tension, doe-eyed stares, and, well, revenge on people.

So if you haven't figured it out yet, this is a revenge movie. And I love revenge movies. I said this before, some of the best movies are revenge movies. "Law Abiding Citizen", "Inglorious Basterds", Django Unchained" and, of course "Shawshank Redemption" are just a few off the top of my head right now.

Does everyone get their revenge you ask? Go see the film and you'll find out. (But yes, they do. Haha, I ruined it for you!) I'm kidding! Seriously, go see it, THEN, and only then, will you have your answer.

What I will tell you about the film is that the acting is above average. All who acted, performed well. Terrence Howard brought it to the table, but he usually does. (See: "Crash", "Hustle and Flow") Noomi Rapace was also good as a sad soul who had a hard time smiling. And Colin Farrell did a great job as a man just trying to stay under the radar. He kept it even keel throughout the film and didn't overact at all. Sometimes people overact. (See: Jim Carrey in "Ace Ventura 2")

There were a couple things I was thinking though. This film seemed to glamorize cigarettes. I mean, the mother smoked, the daughter smoked, Farrell smoke, Terrence Howard smoked. They all loved their butts. I wanted one when I left the theatre... Luckily, I don't smoke anymore. But I did have some weed stashed away in my man-purse (for my glaucoma) so I sparked up a fatty and then realized how much I liked this movie. (I'm actually writing this review stoned.)

Another part of the film that kind of took me aback was that Beatrice was so ashamed of the scars on her face that she recieved from the drunk driving accident. She was so bummed out about her scars. She thought she was hideous. Let me tell you, she wasn't. I would love to date her, scars and all. She looked great! Sometimes that bums me out when people think they're ugly when they are absolutely not. Try walking around all your life with a nose that many people confuse with a plantain! Now that "certain someone" has a reason to be bummed out!

And one more thing that has nothing to do with anything. Beatrice's mother gave Victor some cookies in the movie. Later on, I saw him eating one with a knife and fork! I laughed so hard. It reminded me of the Seinfeld episode where George Costanza eats his candy bar with a fork. ("How do you eat it, with your hands?") "I saw someone today eating their m&m's with a spoon!" It just reminded me of that great Seinfeld episode. Like I've said before, sometimes my mind drifts when I'm in the theatre. (I later found out it wasn't a cookie that Victor was eating, it was chicken. Weed, man. Its messes your head up.)

Ok, my buzz is mellowing, so I'm going to wrap up this review like I wrap up a blunt. Sure I liked this film, a lot. Not Farrell's best ever, but still a good, solid film. Hey, it's way better than a lot of the stuff out there now. ("21 and Over" was painful to watch.)

So, "Dead Man Down"? You can take her to town.

Long live the Irish.

Matty W. Kelley, Norwood Patch, reporting.

Fun Fact: Colin Farrell took Brittney Spears to the premiere of "S.W.A.T." (Yeah he did, remember that?)

Fun Matty Fact: Do any of you remember this? When I was little, I think was strapped into my bed at night so I wouldn't get out and reek havok on my family. I think my brothers were too. (or maybe it was just me.) Some company made a childproof bed belt that was impossible to get out of. Am I dreaming, or did they really make those? (I know they made them, I'm not crazy.) Thank God we never had a fire in the house.