Matty's Movies: 'Ironman 3'

  Robert Downey Jr. has made some
mistakes in his life. He's been hooked on drugs, and drugs and booze,
(and drugs) and has also done a lengthy stint in jail. Does this make
him a bad man? Absolutely not. We've all made mistakes. (Some more
than others.) Making mistakes is part of life. Some of my mistakes
have actually been the best parts of my life... And some have been
the worst. But there's no doubt about it, we all make mistakes. It's
what you do after to fix them that mold you into a better man. Hell,
if I was to write an article on all my mistakes, this column would be
called "Matty's Major Malfunctions" and not "Matty's
Movies"... And you know what? I could pen a novel with all the
screw-ups that I have created, and trust me, you would love it. I'm
talking "best seller" material.

   But I'm not here to tell you about my
mistakes, I'm here to tell you about Mr. Downey Jr's mistakes. You
know what? He doesn't have many. Sure, he's been hooked on coke,
heroin, pot, booze, and a bunch of other junk, but who hasn't? Ok,
many of you haven't, but so what, many of us have... And many of us
take different roads to get to where we're at. Hell, I bet he had one
hell of a time before taking the long road back to normal society.
(besides the jail part, that part must've sucked.... Actually, I know
it sucked, I did a week in Worcester H.O.C... not fun.)

  Anyways, I'm way off track here. What
I'm getting at is, professionally, he has not made many mistakes.
What a resume he flaunts. He's carried some major films like "Air
America", "Less Than Zero", "Chaplin",
"Sherlock Holmes", and one of his best roles to date, as
'Kirk Lazarus' in the wonderfully hilarious comedy, "Tropic
Thunder".

   Let me tell you right now, Robert
Downey Jr. did not make a mistake in making "Ironman 3".
What a delicious film.

   But I did have a few issues with it.
Nothing serious, but perplexing nonetheless. I'll get to my issues
later.

   The story takes place a year after the
Avenger's (Hulk, Captain America, Thor, Ironman, Black Widow, and
Hawkeye) fought Loki and his alien army in New York City. Tony Stark
(Downey) is after some "good old fashioned revenge" after
the terrorist known as "The Mandarin" sets off a bomb that
seriously injures his friend and bodyguard, Happy Hogan. (Jon
Favreau).

   Meanwhile, Tony can't sleep. He's in
love with Pepper Potts, (Gwyenth Paltrow) and he's having anxiety
attacks because of the NYC incedent one year earlier. Basically, he's
a mess.

   Since he can't sleep, he works
tirelessly on his hobby, which is making drone Ironmans. There's a
lot going on... Crazyiness happens and Ironman eventually has to go
duke it out with the Mandarin. It gets rough but it makes for a cool
special effects laden film. 

   I'm going to tell you right now: STOP
READING THIS IF YOU PLAN ON SEEING THIS MOVIE ANYTIME SOON. I'm going
to talk about the film and you may not like what I have to say
because, SPOILER ALERT! I am going to spoil it for you.

   I think I've given you enough time to
stop reading this, but if you haven't, well then I don't care,
because that means you are too weak to pull back and stop reading my
awesome review. (Hey, it happens, I'm awesome, I know.)

   I loved this movie! 4 out of 5 stars. I
love how Robert Downey Jr. plays Tony Stark as the handsome playboy
even though he's in love with Pepper Potts. He's funny and sarcastic.
I love his home. I love his toys. I love his life. He reminds me of
me, except that I'm poor... and ugly... and I'm not a playboy, but I
do read Playboy. (Alright, I'm lying about that one, I just look at
the pictures.) Ok, we have nothing in common.

   I love the voice of Stark's computer,
"Jarvis". I thought Jude Law was perfect as the voice. What
an angelic voice he has.... Way to go Jude! (I later found out that
it was the voice of Paul Bettany. I guess its still good.)

   I loved that in the original film they
had Pepper Potts in tight jean short shorts. This time, to out-do
themselves they showed Pepper's bare midriff, and my God, what a
beautifully tight and toned stomach. Way to go Pepper. I love a toned
gut. (it offsets mine)

   The F/X were dyn-o-mite!

   And the bad guys (Guy Pearce, Ben
Kingsley, and James Badge Dale) were fantastic as the villians.

   Now to my issues.

   I did not like that Pepper Potts got to
wear the Ironman suit... TWICE! That's Ironman's suit! I don't want
anyone wearing my Panda suit when I go out to work! I love my suit,
and Ironman should love his suit!

   I'm not a fan of the Happy Hogan
character.

   I think that they showed too much of
the great parts of the movie in the previews. You know the scene
where Ironman is catching all those people falling out of the plane?
Well, he saves them and calmly drops them in the water. I found it to
be anti-climatic for such a pertinant scene in the film.

   And my most major flaw of the film was
that there were TWO Mandarins! I thought they could've just used
Kingsley's Mandarin for the entire movie! That Mandarin was great! In
the previews he's scary as all hell. "You'll neverrrrrr see me
comingggg." (Just great.)

    Now that I've said all that, I want to
tell you that I saw this flick twice over the weekend. After seeing
it the second time, I totally fell in love with it. It was the
initial punch in the face that knocked me for a loop. I didn't expect
it to flow the way it did and I was taken by surprise. But that's
what you want a movie to do, right? Take you by surprise? The film
needed the story to roll the way it did, and after seeing it again, I
understood what they were doing... (I'm telling you though,
Kingsley's Mandarin could've been a GREAT villian, and not just an
idiot.)

   So Robert Downey Jr., from one messed
up kat to another, I'm happy to see you back up on top. We all do
"crazy", some of us just do it better than others. I'm glad
you've found your way.

   Matty W. Kelley, A Seat Apart
Productions, reporting.

   Fun Fact: Robert Downey Jr. first
smoked pot at the age of 6 when his father let him try it. (A choice
that his father said he later regret.)

    Fun Matty Fact: I'm not too sure when
the first time I smoked pot was, but I can guarantee you that it
wasn't at age 6 with my father! (Although my father is a very mellow
man, so maybe HE was smoking pot... Hell, I would have if I have if I
had me for a son.)

Don't forget to check out our movie
reviews by friending us on Facebook and following us on Twitter at "A
Seat Apart: REEL REVIEWS".