BLOG: Matty's Movies: 'The Bourne Legacy'

I don't know who out in Hollywood got a hold of all you lemmings and brainwashed you into thinking that ANY of these "Bourne" movies are any good, but take it from a professional movie reviewer - they aren't.

Seriously, what is going on here? I've asked many of my friends if they liked the "Jason Bourne" trilogy, starring Boston's own Matt Damon, and the majority have said that, yeah, they do like them. I said to myself, "What is up? What am I missing?" This is when I decided to call in some professional help.

I have connections in the movie reviewing business, so I called on them to get their professional opinions on this saga.

The reviewers that I called in work for a website called "A Seat Apart: Reel Reviews." And let me tell you, they sure know their movies.

I asked Bill Daley, founder of "ASA:RR" what he thought of the previous three films. He said the first one was decent, but way too over the top. It was like James Bond on crack. I agreed with him on this... what I don't agree with him on is his love for Bruce Springsteen. That dungaree wearing crooner bites boots, so I'll agree with his movie expertise, but his taste in music? Rough!

Next up, I asked the host of the show, Paul Frederick Fortey what he thought of the movies. He said that he liked the original three, but he hadn't seen this newest one yet. I'd like to say that, although we didn't see eye to eye on these movies, we do share a similar interest in a wonderful wine called "Mommy's Time Out."

So, here I am, still not sure why everybody likes these movies. I needed an objective opinion. I went to the third member of ASA:RR, my brother, part-time movie reviewer, full-time ninja, Colin "The X-Man" Kelley. He gave it to me straight. I said, "Colin, slap me with the truth, did you like the 'Bourne' movies?" He looked right into my eyes and said with a straight face, "Matty, I thought they totally sucked." This is when I knew my professional opinion was the correct opinion. Two Kelleys can NEVER be wrong. It's mathematically impossible.

But I'm not here to tear down Matt Damon's "Bourne." I'm here to tear down Jeremy Renner's try at the series.

Before I even start my review of "The Bourne Legacy," I want to tell you that this was my favorite film of the four that have been made. But it most definitely doesn't mean that I loved it.

This story is an extention of the previous three films. So you should have some knowledge of them before seeing this. Unfortunately, I thought part two and three were rather dull and drab, so I may have missed some of the key points because I was sleeping. All I can remember of them is that they were both very loud... and very uninteresting. I just couldn't follow the story. Not because it was complex, but because it was boring! As a matter of fact, the best part of any of the movies was the very first scene in part one, where they fish a bullet riddled Jason Bourne out of the ocean. I thought that that was going to be the beginning of a very interesting film... and then nothing.

Oops, there I go again, NOT reviewing the movie I'm supposed to be reviewing.

"Legacy" stars Jeremy Renner as Aaron Cross. Cross is a super soldier for the government working under a secret program called Operation Outcome. "Outcome" is kind of like the programs in the previous films called "Blackbriar" and "Treadstone." He is one of six super soldiers. His mind and body are enhanced through drugs that he has to take once a day. Well, he's out of drugs, and the government wants to shut down the project (that is being run by Col. Eric Byer). Byer is excellently played by Edward Norton. Col. Byer's way of shutting down the project is by killing Cross.

Cross needs his 'meds' bad, so he finds the doctor that prescribed him the drugs and takes her on a worldwide duckhunt to find these pills. The doctor is played by Rachel Weitz, and she does a mighty good job. Anyways, she makes him a concoction that he takes and now he never has to take any pills daily anymore. She gave him a drug that will work in his system forever. Next, you have a couple motorcycle chases, some shootouts, a few fights and then the escape... the escape to ANOTHER sequel.

Trust me, it isn't nearly as boring as I wrote it... it's worse.

Ok, the good parts. The acting is good, and the Alaskan landscape is beautiful, but I needed more than that to keep me entertained. They talked about Jason Bourne throughout the entire film, but he's nowhere to be found. There were other big name actors in this movie, but their parts were so miniscule that I can barely remember them.

I did not like this movie... and it was best of the four. If you must see them, see them in this order: 4-1-2-3. They aren't that good, so it doesn't really matter how you see them... ok, it does matter, but that order is the best movie to the worst.

Just to show you I had an open mind on this film, I read Entertainment Weekly's review on this film and they gave it an A-. I can honestly say, with an open mind, that they are wrong.

Let me give you some advice. If you want to see a great movie about super soldiers, rent a movie called "Universal Soldier," starring Dolph Lundgren and Jean Claude Van DAMME IS HE GOOD LOOKING! I guarantee you'll be entertained.

I want to tell you more about this film, but I really don't have anything else to say. I'm sorry to the millions of people that like this series, but in the wonderful world of "Matty's Movies," you're barking up the wrong tree with this sleeper. 

May I suggest you all stop drinking the Kool-Aid, take your life back, and realize that these movies stink! (But still, they are not as bad as "John Carter.")

Follow me, my young disciples and I will show you the way to magnificant movies!

Matty W. Kelley, Norwood Patch, reporting.

Fun Fact: If you'd like to catch the "A Seat Apart: Reel Reviews" crew (including myself) reviewing past movies, Google or Youtube "A Seat Apart: Reel Reviews." I think you'll get a kick out of us... we are mental.

Fun Matty Fact: I truly believe that if Bruce Springsteen and W. Axl Rose ever got into a street fight, Axl Rose would beat the tar out of Bruce. My opinion, my column... I'm right.